Day Three or Last BlogHer Post For A While

I think I may have given the impression that the BlogHer workshops were not all that great. Nothing could be further from the truth. I learned so much from them that processing it all is taking a few days. I do want to share it all and I believe I heard something about podcasts being available, so bear with me for a day or two more and I'll tell you what I learned.

Day Three was great. I had purchased some Tylenol PM at the Walgreen's and both Jenny and I slept like the dead. After breakfast we started our workshops for the day: Building Traffic, Monetization and Blog to Book. Monetization was a complete bust, but only because I was expecting them to lay out some information and it was a Q&A session. I came away with the general impression that the only thing you can do is have great content, so if your blog comes to someone's attention, they'll throw money at you. Great. Thanks.

I've come to the conclusion that I will never make money from this blog and that's okay. While meeting one of the BlogHer "superstars," she mentioned she reviewed my blog for the BlogHer ads. No, "I liked your stuff." No, "You're pretty funny." Not even a "Geez, your kids are nuts ." So I'm giving up on BlogHer Ads. Still going to the conferences though!

After the conference came the closing reception. At Macy's. What? Yes, they took us to Macy's, gave us 25% off coupons, liquored us up and set us loose. I think Macy's was hoping a bunch of drunk women would spend a bunch of money. Not so much. I didn't see one person purchase one single thing all night. That doesn't mean it didn't happen, just that I didn't observe it. I did observe someone spilling a half glass of red wine on a pair of satin shoes. That was awesome.

The highpoint of the night had to be the lingerie department, brought to us by K-Y. K-Y!!! I died right there. The cocktail napkins had K-Y imprinted on them. I made a bunch of women stand together and take a picture, holding those ridiculous napkins up. Then, a K-Y rep saw us and asked for a shot of us. By that time, my drunken comrades had scattered, so she had to settle for just me. Here's where I'll make money. I'll be the new spokeswoman for K-Y! Yay!

In furniture, there was a dance party going on. Except no one was dancing. More techno crap and a bunch of women standing around wondering why they were playing music we couldn't possibly dance to without hurting ourselves. We were all sitting around on couches, gabbing about how terrible the wine was and how the little sandwiches they were passing around tasted like butt lint. A manager from Macy's was hovering around, making sure no one spilled on the furniture. She looked a little crabby. I guess the fact that no one bought couches pissed her off.

We were shuffled out of there around ten and while we (actually, just Jenny) was invited to a cheeseburger party (huh?), we decided to go dancing instead. Okay, I wanted to go back to the hotel and sleep, but Jenny begged and cajoled, so I came out with her and Nancy of Marie Millard. We had fun, sipping drinks and fending off men. I actually got asked to dance, several times, which just goes to show that the boobs have power. (To which lesbians are immune.) I've learned that my sweet friend Jenny is a dancing fiend. She spent a lot of time on the dance floor and had a ton of fun. She also had a fair amount of the hooch, so we got back to the room, poured ourselves into bed and enjoyed *snort* our last night in the luxurious Union Square Plaza Hotel.

We had big plans for Sunday, but I was exhausted and Jenny had a plane to catch, so after a little wandering around, we retrieved the car and headed home. It was a fun ride home, both of us talking, getting lost in Hercules, and in general, just enjoying each other's company. It had been too long, and I'm determined to not let another twelve years slip by without seeing her sweet face, nose stud and all. By the by, Nosie is just as lovely in person as in pictures.

So that wraps up the recap portion of my BlogHer-palooza. I'll be back to share a little of what I learned, but for now, I'm pretty sick of typing BlogHer, so it will be back to regularly scheduled programming for now.