I'm pretty laid back as a parent. There isn't much that sends me South. And what does tends to be of the trivial variety. Such as:
*One shoe. Red has a genius for hiding one shoe of a pair. It's always from whatever pair is the "must wear" set, like his tennies. He currently owns one tennie and it is the third time such a situation has occured. THE THIRD. This is too much, even for me. He's stuck wearing his brown fisherman sandals, with socks, mind you, because he will not wear his sandals on bare feet. Screaming, kicking and Oh My God The Fucking Humanity ensues when I place a sandal on his bare foot.
*Sand. I hate sand with a purple, humping passion. I don't go to the beach, I avoid sand boxes and if my children fell into a quicksand pit, I'd hesitate before trying to save them. So naturally, this week's science project at preschool involved digging in the sand to find seashells, gems, et-shit-era which had been buried. Who buried these things? Me, that's who. Me, the woman with a fresh and, may I say rather stunning, pedicure in a darling hue called Tiki Punch. So now my pedicure is effed up beyond redemption and my husband will be a very sad man tonight.
I keep forgetting to post about my husband's aversion to lingerie and his not so odd little fetish...soon, little ones. Very soon.
*Toys that have a million little pieces, five of which are missing. Not Legos, since you can always build something out of Legos. I'm talking about these damn PollyPocket/ Puppy in my Pocket/ Tons O' Miniature Crap To Lose toys. I've been searching in vain for a two inch pink plastic bench, a tiny little flocked Yorkie and a dog bone the size of a splinter. Missy is devastated by their loss. My response has been, "If you'd put them away in their bin after playing, this wouldn't have happened," and strangely, she is not consoled by it. Hmmm.
*Whining. This is a no brainer and universal. Raise your hand if you enjoy listening to other people whine. That's what I thought. Wait! Blogs, especially mine, don't count! Come back!
So there you have it. The keys to my insanity. Use them wisely. What drives you batshit?
10 comments:
I DID notice the pretty pink toes today, pink toes caked in wet sand that is. And I'm laughing about the sand because we just had a conversation today about how you like to wallow in sand. Guess you can hate tomatoes but love ketsup, huh? ;)
Clamshell packages! I hate the damn things! THe product should not be that hard to get to!
WORD UP, Miss Ginger.
Are we related? Hate, hate, hate sand! I was so glad when my kids liked the log roll in the lake vs. the beach. I even installed a shower in my garage to prevent the sand from coming in my house.
As far as the shoes, I am sure he'll work for Microsoft like CP's husband one day. Fisherman sandals and socks= smart geeky guy. One last note, at least your child wears the appropriate undergarments, unlike my girls. Socks? Nope. Underwear? Nope.
Whining? Why, I love whining. Really, I wish there was more in my house.
You make me smile!
whining. plain and simple. I will cut a bitch who is whining.
I haven't been on the internet in a couple of days because we have hit my limit of crazy.
MY LIMIT
You and I have exactly the same pet peeves - perhaps we were separated at birth?
Cakesie's frustrating habit right now....taking her pants off. She absolutely will not wear pants. She informed me. "Mommy, I don't like pants! I don't meed them! (she gets her M's and N's mixed up). We're really hoping she outgrows this habit before she becomes a teenager.
I frickin hate sand! I can't stand walking across my kitchen floor and ending up with grit between my toes, and every time we go to the park, the kids want to play in the sand pile. Then I go to change Cakesie's diaper and half of it pours out onto the carpet!
Tiny little toy parts make me insane, especially since my kids scatter them all over the house. Have you ever stepped on a stinkin' Lego in your bare feet? It's excruciating!
Hahaha, I totally love whining. Who are you kidding?
Whining is like a part-time job for me ... without the paycheck.
People who chew loudly make me batshit crazy.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXO
Dude. You nailed it for me... sand, million piece toys, and whining. So. Much. Oh yeah - and also one shoe. Oh, one shoe.
Also, Lucy is the opposite of Red. She HATES socks. She says, "No Mama! My socks are freakin' me out!" So, flip-flops are out best option - yes even in the rain. Oh, to tie this in with "one shoe", despite the fact she owns 4 pairs of flip flops. We can only find one left-foot white one and one right foot blue with sparkly on them. And yes, that is what she wears. I give.
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